Some parrots can carry a conversation better than i can.
thanks for puttin up with me anyway, it means a lot.
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heartachemuse:

hi niel. i have a very important question:

if you were being attacked by an infinite number of chickens, how many do you think you could kill before the chickens overcame you?

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neil-gaiman:

Couldn’t I just climb a tree? Or get in a car and drive away? I bet I could finish out my lifetime before the chickens caught up with me.

neil-gaiman:

heartcollectioncupcake:

The fact that he chose to answer this question, while he has over 6k in his inbox, makes me laugh.

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At this point I open the asks, answer whatever’s in front of me and close it again. Most of them simply are never going to be seen by me – there are too many coming in every day to read, let alone to answer, and there is only one of me, and I have a job or three, and a small boy, and a large dog.

If it’s chickens it’s chickens.

sunspotpony:

luckyladylily:

gengaritez:

itznarcotic:

A tweet by Nintendo Life captioned "Random: Japanese Parents Are Using Pikmin To Keep Their Children In Line". It is accompanied by a cropped image of the Pikmin 4 box art to show the Blue Pikmin, Yellow Pikmin, Red Pikmin, and Crystal Pikmin.ALT
A reddit post titled "Pikmin 4 changed improved my life and I fucking hate it". The post reads: "Every single time I have something that needs doing that I don’t want to do I just think to myself, “Dandori issue.” Every single time. And it works. Every. Single. Time.  The only way I get so much done now is by dreaming of being one of these weird little plant guys. How do I explain that to my parents? My friends, even?! How do I tell them that my sudden drastic increase in productivity is from getting over my Dandori issue??  I just want to go back I don’t want to be a pikmin anymore. I don’t want to hear their little carrying song when I take my laundry out of the machine. How do I unplay pikmin."ALT
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This is actually very normal human behavior. It’s just that most people (in the USA) think “Jesus strengthens me” instead of “I am a pikmin, dandori time”

This is literally why stories and fantasy are so useful to humans. We cannot tackle every mundane challenge with enthusiasm, and facing against profoundly daunting tasks can be deeply demoralizing, and you don’t get to feel cool or heroic for filing 400 pieces of paperwork.

We arm ourselves with stories and fantasy, so that the laundry can become a charming hurdle to overcome, and the daunting stack of bills is the leviathan we the brave knights must slay.

Humans have always been like this. So many cultures have stories or mythology or even rituals about literally embodying another being better suited to the challenge one currently faces.

Stories are armor. Stories are fuel.

spacecravat:

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love how she doesn’t even bother to ask if crowley has a wife or girlfriend. one look at him and it’s clear there is no heterosexual explanation for anything about crowley

nerf-cat:

incorrectinfinity:

Ok just for curiosity reasons

Did you transfer to tumblr through a mass migration?

Nope I am here because I want to be and also I am stuck here forever please help

Yeah I moved here from Twitter and now people are mean to me 😔👍

Yeah I moved here from Reddit and people are nicer to me 😃👍

I came here from Tiktok because it was trendy at one point uhhhhhhhhh

See Results

I genuinely hate to say this but please reblog if you hit the like button for a larger sample size thank you <3

the results are SO FRICKING FUNNY

pangur-and-grim:

funyarinpaa:

pangur-and-grim:

twitter is broken today 😭 are there any other ways that people search for anthologies to apply to?

might not be broken actually! Might be working as intended!

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https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1675187969420828672?t=Vz-o-KCqBCFe4Yn5InM-YQ&s=19

OH FUCK! okay twitter is dead, that’s amazing. this is a death blow. does he not understand that the platform relies on addictive doom scrolling, and that people actively want to quit but can’t because it activates all the right brain chemicals? this is wonderful for me at least, with Elon’s help I can finally kick this particular addiction.